I hate always being the one putting all the effort in our relationship
For someone who call me their best friend, she isn’t treating me like one
I want to transfer to another school and i would if all my credits would transfer. I was looking at the classes I took and see what it would be equivalent to the other school and I would be so behind so it would be so stupid to transfer. I am starting not to like it here idk it’s just different now. I feel like I am not even close to the one person I thought I got really close to last semester. I feel like I am getting replaced and that sucks but I should be used to it I mean I always get replaced. idk what is wrong with me but I just keep losing friends. I think another reason why I want to transfer to this school because this school is back at home where I live and it’s familiar. I like familiar things. I just feel like I don’t fit in here anymore. I just came back from my break and I want to go back already. Home is great I love home and is a place where I am happy. I am not happy here. I pretend I am because I don’t want people ask me what is wrong because they prob don’t care anyways. Everyone here just wants to know the drama not what is really bothering you. I want to tell that one person that I became close with last semester but now I don’t even feel close to her so I can’t. I never tell people my personal problems unless i feel close with them and now, I don’t feel close to that person and that sucks. I really thought we would be really good friends but now there’s some other guy who you became closer to. He’s a good guy and all but it just sucks how close you two got in a matter of weeks and I am just here. I don’t even think I can call you my best friend anymore. Last semester we told each other everything and during break we text each other everyday. this break that just passed, we hardly talk and when we did, it was brief. It sucks how time changes things so fast. If things were like last semester, then maybe I would be happier here because I was honestly happier last semester than I am now. Even though the person I really liked and started talking to at the end of summer before I went to college stopped talking because I made a mistake happened last semester, I would rather have last semester than this semester.
I want so many things from my past right now. The ONE thing is my best friend maria back. We were really so close and I want us to be that way again. I would do anything. I know I lost all your trust so I know I would have to work hard to build that back up and be where we were at one point and I am willing to do that. There’s a part of me that is saying don’t do it because she prob doesn’t want to be your friend or even talk to you but another part is telling to just do it if you really want her. I made so many mistakes in our friendship but I can honestly say that that is the past and I am a different person now. I was reading our old facebook messages and even if you blocked me I can still see it. I was thinking back to all the times we hung out and all the times we spent together. You was always there for me and I was always there for you. I understood why you got mad at me all those times I was doing stuff you didn’t like and it was because you was looking out for me. If you ever read this, I want you to know how truly sorry I am and how I almost ruined your special night. You looked beautiful as usual and regret doing what I almost did and missing your special night. I just want us to be good again.